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The Men You Need to Avoid

If you are one of those guys that have the unlucky curse of picking up losers, you may be wondering if there is a foolproof way to spot these type of men - the men you need to avoid - from across a crowded bar. Unfortunately, it is usually not that easy! However, with just a little practice you can quickly learn how to decipher who you need to be rid of and who is worth their weight in gold. 

As I'm sure you have already found out J, there are quite a few different types of men that you need to look out for. Here is a sample of the ones that are most notable. 

The Internet Stalker 

These men you will meet in a chat room, or on a personals site. You correspond with them through a few emails - and then it happens. You notice they start digging for more information than you are ready to give. They want to know your address, where you work, and other things that you normally would not tell an average Internet stranger. If you do not tell him he becomes enraged - wondering why you think you can't trust him. He may even try to get these things himself, and will seem proud of himself once he does, as if he's showing you that you 'can't outsmart him'. 

Obviously, this person is potentially dangerous. He may not specifically seek to harm you, though he can do much damage to your life. If he knows where you work you could get calls to your boss, or to you at work. He could even end up coming to your house. 

If any of this happens it's definitely time for some police intervention! Most areas have stalking laws, which state that if you ask someone to leave you alone - and they do not - then you can press charges. If you feel you are in danger with this type of guy, you should definitely consider this an option. 

The Controller 

This one is sometimes hard to spot right off hand. He's sooooo sweet. He loves you more than anyone ever has. He's your dream man. Smart and funny, he wants to keep you all to himself. Unfortunately, that is a very accurate description. He doesn't seem interested in your friends, and he doesn't want you to spend time with them either - translation: spend time with only him. He wants all of your time and if you are unable to give it he will end up getting violent. He can become jealous and hyper-vigilant to your every action, as if the simplest of things that you do have ulterior motives. He constantly accuses you of cheating, or he may end up threatening to leave you. He can be mentally abusive, verbally or psychologically abusive, and - often times - he may become physically abusive as well. These actions are the controller's way of keeping you under his 'control'. 

If you notice these behaviors it's time to call it quits. No matter how sweet he may appear to be, or apologetic he may appear to be, when he's not accusing you of things - please know that this behavior is only going to get worse. His goal will be to alienate you completely from your social circle so that you will be his completely, and should he ever think that you are trying to leave him it could become worse than you could ever imagine. 

The Straight Boy 

Ah, yes, the straight boy. You may know these boys well. Some of them are on the football team and many of them have girlfriends. Most of them claim to be curious, or completely straight, but a little something from you is okay on the side. In the rare occasion they will top a gay bottom. Usually these boys are out for a quick round of oral sex with you - with you doing the giving, of course. This is always where it ends… until they need a little more. 

These men may not be the worst for you physically, but mentally they are awful. Unfortunately, many gay boys fall for these straight guys. They want to believe that these boys like them. Well, face it boys, the straight guy might like your skills - but he will never love you. Whether he is gay, or not, doesn't matter, because he will never take the time to show you he cares. Instead, he will take what he can get and then leave you to be alone - until he needs more. He's a user. You wouldn't take it from anyone else, so don't take it from him. Besides, what are you getting out of it? 

There are many other men that may need to be looked out for, but these are definitely three of the most notable. If you notice any behavior in a man - behavior that you are certain you can't live with - then it will be in your best interest to run the other way. You have the ability to notice these things in the beginning of a relationship/meeting when men are still a dime a dozen. So, if you're with someone, and you have an uneasy feeling that he is someone you should be avoiding, then ditch the crazy and head off to find something better. It's the least you can do for yourself.

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