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  • Sarah and Carlie’s Wisconsin and Chicago Weddings

    Like many of us in states that have not allowed same sex marriage for long, or that still don’t allow it, Sarah and Carlie married twice: once for love, and once for legality.  The best part is how amazingly different their weddings were! Here’s their story, as told by Sarah.

    My wife Carlie and I were married in a beautiful wedding in Milwaukee, WI in September 2010. We didn’t care that it wasn’t legal. We really wanted it to be a day that we shared with friends

    We also wanted our friends to be a big part of making our day special. Our photographer, DJ, and Officiant were all friends of ours. My brother and his girlfriend, both of whom are classically trained musicians, performed and arranged the music.  They put together a rad mix of popular songs, including Michael Jackson and Usher, played on cello and violin.

    We chose to have our wedding at the Botanical Gardens so that we wouldn’t have to worry about flowers. The location is also a beautiful venue and they allowed us full access to the entire gardens for the night. Since the gardens are all located indoors, we had access to nature without having to worry about the weather. The booking agent advised us that the Fall Show would be going up on the day of our wedding, so we would see the show before the public. The agent failed to mention that it was a Halloween show that year! Although we imagine that the rest of the weddings that were booked after ours would be upset, we were beyond excited to have a headless horseman overseeing the ceremony and to take pictures aboard the pirate ship.

    We moved to Chicago, IL a couple years later, and Illinois legalized gay marriage just this year. We waited until our anniversary and planned to go down to the courthouse. Since my wife is turning 30 in December, I wrote her a list of 30 things to do before she turns 30, which included eating at Hot Doug’s, a Chicago hotspot that closed its doors in the beginning of October. Since we had already taken the day off, we decided to stop by Hot Doug’s (famous for their long lines) in the morning before going to the courthouse.

    But then, after 4 hours in line, we ended up marrying at Hot Doug’s! A friend of ours became licensed online while waiting in line, another friend ran to get us champagne and balloons, and my mom picked us weed bouquets.

    We twisted our arms together with hot dogs while wearing the shirts we had made for our bachelorette party four years earlier. It was all fairly hilarious.

    Read more »
  • Exclusive Erotic Gay Fiction Story

    The taxi pulled away from the curb and within a flash it was gone, lost among the other cars on the road. Brett felt the pang of dejection as he stared aimlessly out along the road, as if he was hoping for the return of the cab and its occupant, Brian. It wasn’t fair he thought as he stared along the busy roadway, ignoring the people pushing past him on the sidewalk.

    Together they had moved into the apartment complex and set up house. It wasn’t exactly perfect but slowly they had built up the place to where it was at least comfortable. All that was suddenly gone with Brian leaving him and for what? The so called promises of some old fart who threw cash around like it was confetti? He didn’t like the guy but Brian seemed taken with him or maybe it was with the money the guy had and Brett didn’t?

    Christ he hated that, but he didn’t have rich parents or anything else, just a steady job that at least had paid for their one room apartment for the last couple of years and the other bills. Not like Brian hadn’t tried to work, but he just hadn’t found the right position or so the excuse went. Maybe he was being too critical as he did truly love him, or was it his body he loved?

    Shaking his head he slowly made his way back up the walk to enter the 12 story complex and return to an empty home. Small tears sprang from his eyes as he tried to keep his emotions in check. How was he going to manage without Brian or would he? Maybe it was time to think of something else but all he could conjure up was how much he knew he was going to miss Brian. Even the idea of going out to the bar was no longer appealing to him.

    Brett had no idea how long he had been sitting on the sofa staring out the balcony window but he felt the rumble in his stomach that told him he needed some food. He really wasn’t into cooking at that moment but as he looked out at the darkening sky outside, he felt the terror of the unknown striking at him, or was it just an empty stomach?

    Somehow he knew he would have to shake this crappy feeling off but when you give two whole years to someone to just have them up and leave you for someone else, well it just isn’t that easy. He felt the tears coming again and with an angry swipe of his arm tried to push them away, to banish them but with no luck. They just kept on coming as he sat there, feeling alone and empty.

    With what he thought was a lot of effort he rose up and made his way to the small little kitchen area of the apartment. He stood there dazed a bit as he could remember all the other times he had stood there, cooking with Brian standing where he stood now, talking and joking with him. It never really was much but idle chatter yet he missed hearing the voice. How could his life have changed so fast?

    What had he done that made Brian think he would be better off with some old fuck?

    The gurgling made him shake a bit as he more or less stumbled in and checked the refrigerator to see what there was left to eat. Looking inside he couldn’t see shit, the small light suddenly glaring to the point where everything was a blur, yet he knew it wasn’t the light but the tears in his eyes.

    Fuck! He yelled as he slammed the door. Anger had once more risen up inside as he realized what a sap he was being. Screw Brian he thought as he grabbed his jacket and car keys and headed out. No way was he going to just mope around all night, or let that jerk make him sick.

    He needed food and as it was close to the end of the month he knew he wasn’t going to eat out, so he headed his small used car towards the grocery store a few blocks away. As he drove his mind continued to rage against Brian. How could he be so fucking cruel he thought. Christ he had given him a nice home, cooked meals most of the time not to mention the other stuff.

    It was like suddenly he was making a list of all he had done and checking it off against all he had received. His lips were set tight as he concentrated on driving but at the back of his mind, the list grew in size. There wasn’t just that he had paid all the bills but all the times when Brian wanted to go out, to party and he had gone too. Didn’t seem to matter that he had to work the next day, Brian wanted to go so they would go.

    Maybe that was his problem. Instead of always doing what Brian had wanted, he should have said No a few more times. Maybe then Brian wouldn’t have taken him so much for granted, or maybe he would have left sooner? Well sooner wouldn’t have been much better, though in some ways maybe. Christ how could he be so callous? He had spent two years loving the guy and in less than a few hours he was beginning to hate him.

    Can I help you find something?

    The voice startled him as he didn’t even seem to realize that he was already in the grocery store, just staring blankly inwards. He shook his head as he found himself looking at the blonde who had spoken. In that instant he felt the lump in his pants too as this wasn’t some geeky looking guy.

    Uh sorry, uh, no I don’t think so.

    The young man looked at him and a small smile curled around his light pink lips. For one brief instant Brett saw a flick of the tongue moisten them and then dart back into the well formed mouth. God, what a hunk Brett was thinking as he wished he could think of something, anything to say.

    Brett felt his body stiffen as the man smiled and moved away and all he could think of was how he’d love to get that one home. He had to be sick, after all he had just had a two year love affair end but here he was, already cruising for someone new. Maybe Brian had done him a favour or maybe he was as Brian said, a guy who just wanted someone handy to fuck. Man, what if that was right?

    Without even thinking he found his voice, calling out to the retreating back of the young man, asking if he could tell him where the steaks were. He had no idea why he had asked, after all he had shopped here many times, but suddenly he just wanted to hear the guy speak again, to gaze at him.

    The guy stopped and turned around, another warm smile with a twinkle in his eyes stared at him for a second or two then spoke.

    Sure, I’ll show you if you’d like.

    Yeah, uh, okay if you don’t mind.

    Not at all, part of the job.


    Okay, well we can go this way.

    Brett moved a bit closer and followed the young man, gazing at this back and the perfect fit of the body into the store’s basic uniform. It wasn’t like some stores, just a dark coloured shirt with white linen type pants but Brett could see the thin outline of a pair of shorts around the upper thighs. Man the guy had to be wearing jockey’s instead of boxers which suited him just fine.

    He found his eyes constantly moving up and down the young man’s backside. Taking in the well proportioned back, the long rather muscular legs and the nice firm butt cheeks that filled the seat of the pants just right. He could see them move slightly with each step that somehow moved in time with the pounding of his own heart. God he must going crazy he thought as he tagged along like some puppy dog following its master.

    Maybe Brian was right, maybe all he really did want was a good fuck waiting for him. Maybe he wasn’t into that domestic crap but in the idea of not having to go looking for sex every night? Shit, he didn’t really care right now as all he could think of was wondering if the guy was cut or uncut and if the jockey shorts were light blue or grey.

    Here we are, anything else I can help you find?

    (shit, the way the guy was looking at him, it was making him sweat and worse, he knew that the bulge in his pants had to be showing. Course the guy could help him find ‘something else’ but he didn’t have the guts to say what that something else was)

    Uh, no I guess that’s it, uh… thanks

    No problem, so you having a party or something?

    Brett kept glancing away from the blonde trying to hide his own obvious attraction to him but it was as if the guy knew, was trying to find an opening. Maybe he was reading too much into it, after all it had been awhile since he’d been in the market, so to speak.

    Party? … uh I wish, no, just need something for dinner… uh, would you, uh, have any, uh… suggestions?

    (Christ he was sounding like some teenage school kid. All the uh’s and hmm’s were making him sound like a moron, but he couldn’t help himself. He wished he could just come out and ask the guy home.)

    Just for you or uh a date or um, partner?

    Brett heard the word and his head snapped up to stare into the dark green eyes of the young man. It was how he said ‘partner’ that made him look deeper into the face, as if there would be some sign, some signal to give him a hint, an indication if the guy was hitting on him or not.

    Just me I guess, unless, uh…

    (Damn, he was stuttering now and could feel his face turning red as he twisted his head away. There was no sign, but then what did he expect? He was being crazy to think that this 18 or 19 year old was hitting on him. The guy was obviously just doing his job, though he wished he could read him better. He could feel his body aching for a quick glance down, to check out the crotch. Despite that insane urge he could still feel the guy’s eyes on him, knowing that if he did glance he’d be seen.)

    I’d say the rib eye then, might as well splurge on yourself, though if you uh, were having company… well the sirloin tip or even the top round would be good. Specially with uh, some fresh mushrooms and maybe fired onions.

    Not the rib eye for two?

    (He had no idea why he said that, or why it even mattered, but his interest was peaked. Why would the guy recommend an expensive cut for one, not for two?)

    Well, I suppose if you knew them well, or something, but uh, if it was uh, I mean just uh, you know, casual thing, first meeting or uh… well… no reason I guess.

    Brett stared at the guy who seemed to actually be shifting his stance from foot to foot, almost as if he was nervous. He felt a strange flicker inside as he stole a quick glance at the whole man. The quick look only showed him a well proportioned man, and perhaps a bit of a bulge but he didn’t let his eyes rest there, for fear of discovery but his own body certainly felt the tingle of excitement. Was he being hit on?

    If not, then this was one strange dude. It was, almost, as if the guy was trying to wangle a dinner invite.

    Kind of uh, like the idea of fresh mushrooms and fried onions…

    You do?

    Yeah, just that for one, well, it is rather a bit of a pain.

    Yeah, suppose so.

    Course, uh, I mean would be nice to uh, have some new company for a change… share some wine maybe too.

    Boy can I relate to that.


    Yeah, Uh, just sort of left someone I thought was a friend… why I took the night shift tonight, normally I work days.

    (God the guy was hitting on him, but was it for a free dinner or was he looking for something? Shit, was he even into guys as he didn’t say and to be friggin honest, the guy didn’t fit the mould. No way a stud like him would be single for long, so why was he obviously trying to finagle a dinner invite?)

    Guess that’s why I haven’t seen you here before…

    (Fuck the instant he said it Brett knew he had fucked up. His eyes glanced quickly and he saw a quick start then a blank look came back to the guy’s face. If he could, he would kick himself for outing himself)

    The silence between them was becoming awkward as neither seemed to know what to say now. Brett felt dejected as he had somehow gotten his hopes up that this could be something more. Now it all seemed dashed by his own stupidity.

    Uh.. well you never know, I mean uh…

    (he could see the way the guy kept looking around, almost afraid to stare back at him but it only made him feel worse. Shit, why did he have to open his mouth and say that?)

    Yeah, uh so the mushrooms, uh, ever cook them in butter with some dill?

    (man he had to be lame, talking about cooking mushrooms)

    Mushrooms? Oh, uh, yeah but I uh, uh… use garlic to sort of, ya know…

    I like garlic too, but kind of awkward if you, if uh, I mean if its for casual company… I mean, hey, you never, uh..

    Manage a kiss or more?

    Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.

    I dunno, kind like the idea sometimes of kissing and tasting the hint of garlic, and uh… stuff.



    Brett finally managed to control his own racing pulse and look straight at the young man. He saw the wisp of hair across the forehead, the little beads of sweat too that showed he was as nervous as himself. His eyes were filled with something beyond a blank gaze, almost as if they were trying to show something more than a casual interest. God, what if this guy was some freak though?

    He couldn’t help the thought but as he slowly stared at him, he found himself making full eye contact. The guy licked his lower lip a bit, which made Brett’s heart skip a beat or two. Fuck what he wouldn’t do for just a taste of that tongue, even if it was coated in raw garlic.

    I hate eating steak alone.

    (shit now he was in for it. How the fuck could he just blurt that out. Man what if the guy wasn’t gay?)

    Yeah, it’s uh, better with two.

    (In for a penny, in for a pound he thought.)

    Glancing downwards finally, Brett stared at the crotch. He could see more than just a tell tale bulge and he felt a hot flash spread over his own face, knowing that the blonde was also blushing a bit.

    Well, shall I uh, get some mushrooms & garlic?

    (He’s going to say no, I can feel it. Though he didn’t come right back with it, so maybe he’s trying to figure out a polite way of saying no?)

    I don’t get off for another hour, uh, that too late?

    Brett blinked and saw that the look he was getting was one of worry. The guy actually did want to have dinner with him and his body shook a bit as he thought about it. He had no idea what the guy’s name was even or anything other than he was one fucking hot looking guy.

    No that’s uh fine.


    Sure, that is if, I mean if you uh…

    Yeah, I do, uh, by the way, guess I should introduce myself.

    Haha, might help, I am Brett

    Brett? Nice, uh, mine is Josh.

    Josh? Never met anyone named Josh before.

    Really? Rather a common name.

    Oh I don’t know, seems uh, well…

    Yeah I know, so uh, I get off at 9, so you live close by?

    Pretty much…

    Cool, I uh, I don’t have any wheels, so is it uh, in walking distance?

    I can wait in the parking lot if you want?

    You’ll be bored, I mean I don’t mind walking if its not too far.

    Few blocks, but by the time I finish shopping, well no sense in you walking, I mean…

    Okay, uh what kind of car? How will I…

    It’ll be the only ugly green ancient datsun.

    Datsun huh?


    Cool, how old?

    Older than you I bet, early 70’s.

    Haha, well then its older than us both.

    Well I am a lot closer to its age than you I bet.

    Yeah, well not so you’d notice.


    So uh, out front at few minutes after 9?

    Yeah, uh Josh, right?

    Yep, Brett…


    The heater was running full blast and yet he still felt chilled. Brett kept glancing at his watch wishing that it wasn’t right, that somehow it had gotten faster without him noticing it but in his heart he knew it was right. How much longer was he going to stay waiting for what obviously wasn’t going to happen?

    Shit he hated this. Should he go to the door and knock or just keep on waiting? Maybe some meeting was taking place or maybe Josh had slipped out back rather than face him and break it off. He felt like

    he had been rejected all over again. Bad enough that Brian had left, now a stranger was dumping him before they even had a chance? Christ what was he doing wrong that guys dumped him before even knowing him?

    His watch showed that it was 20 to ten already. Brett had seen several staff leave just after 9 but no Josh. Man he had to be stupid to think that someone as hot as Josh would show up. Worse, the guy probably wasn’t gay either which would mean that he had tweaked to why Brett had invited him for dinner. Man what a fool he was feeling like, sitting in the nearly empty parking lot waiting still for someone who obviously wasn’t going to show up.

    He turned his head to stare over at the big store, seeing the main store lights dim. A sort of sickening feeling came to him as it appeared that he was being stood up. The thought that he was being set up came to him too. He felt nervous as the time marched onwards and then he saw him, coming out of the door with something in his hands.

    Brett saw him staring at the remaining cars and he quickly flashed his lights, hoping that it wasn’t a set up. He couldn’t see anyone else around so he waited as Josh came trotting over to the car.

    “Oh man you must think I am a flake or something”

    “Well, was wondering if you had changed your mind”

    “No, I didn’t realize how much I had to do before going off shift, nights are different than the mornings, sorry”

    “No problem, bet you are starved”

    “Kind of, man I am glad you waited, kind of uh, worried that, well that you might have left”

    “With two steaks and mushrooms sitting in the back? Nah, no way.”

    “haha, sorry”

    “Not your fault, no big deal”

    “Cool, so, uh… where is this bachelor pad of yours?”

    “Down the street, few blocks”

    Brett put the car in gear and began to move off as two more guys came out of the store. One of them pointed at his car and he felt a sickening lump in his throat as he moved past them, fearing the worse but all Josh did was wave to the guy pointing.

    “He’s one of the guys I worked with on morning shift, bit of a dufus but okay”


    “the guy who pointed, I worked morning with him”

    “Oh, okay”

    “He’s harmless, in case you were wondering”

    “Harmless? How did… I mean…”

    “I’d feel the same way if I was you, I mean, these days, not easy to trust strangers.”

    “That’s for sure, not easy to trust people you know either.”

    Josh turned in the seat and Brett could feel his eyes on him, staring. Why he said that he had no idea but it felt like he could tell him anything without it being a deal breaker, least he hoped it wouldn’t be. Still he needed to be careful. Josh seemed to be able to read his mind and that made him nervous. He hadn’t met anyone before that could see past his normal façade. Besides, he knew absolutely nothing more about him other than he worked mornings, now worked nights and was perhaps a bit older than he had guessed.

    “So you get the sirloin or the round?”

    “Huh? Oh the steaks you mean… uh, two rib eyes actually”

    “What? I mean… that’s bit pricey, you Donald Trump in disguise or something?”

    “Haha I don’t think so, though wouldn’t mind his money, just not his uh taste in uh, friends”

    “Yeah he does pick some ditzy one’s doesn’t he?”

    “seems so”

    “Well, I got a bottle of wine, you do drink wine? I mean if not, maybe there is a store where I can get something else?”

    “Wine is fine, you didn’t have to do that”

    “It’s okay, I mean you bought dinner, wish I’d known you had splurged though, I mean the wine isn’t a bad one, but uh…”

    “I am sure whatever you picked out will be just great”

    “Charmer huh? Well, I hope so, if not you can blame the assistant manager, it was his recommendation”

    “Okay, if its bad we’ll blame him, now did you keep the receipt so we can take it back?”

    “Shit, comedian now”

    “Not really, but thanks for noticing that I was joking”

    “Not hard to do when you are choking back a belly laugh”

    The drive didn’t take long and yet Brett felt a bit sad at its conclusion. He didn’t know why but he had thoroughly enjoyed the small talk on the way home. It felt so good to just talk, without any strain. How many times he had wished he could have had that with Brian over the two years were too numerous to add up. They never seemed to just talk, unless about which bar to hit, or what show to watch on TV.

    Parking he noticed that Josh seemed a bit quiet and nervous. Couldn’t blame him either because in all honesty he knew he was feeling the same way. It just was odd, to suddenly meet someone and in a short time to be heading up to his place to cook dinner for both of them. Maybe it was kismet or something but he still felt a slight uncertainty. Christ what if Josh wasn’t gay?

    The idea gnawed at him because, well he didn’t know. Least at the bars he had a pretty good certainty that anyone he talked to would be gay, though the odd straight did show up. Still this was totally different. His palms were sweaty as he entered the elevator with Josh to head up to the apartment. He could see Josh staring upwards, watching the numbers flash as if mesmerizing everything he could about the place.

    Taking a left from the elevator they came finally to his apartment door. Brett could sense the hesitation in both Josh and himself. This wasn’t something he had ever done before. To just pick some guy up or be picked up by some guy and go home was not like him. He was always the cautious one. Now all that was thrown out the window as he struggled with his keys, trying to get the right one into the deadbolt lock.

    “You uh, I mean, you bring guys home often Brett?”

    The words were softly spoken, yet they penetrated like a knife through butter. He swallowed hard as he tried to think, to wonder if this was where it would happen. He had heard about some who would string you on, get you to take them to your home then whack you over the head. He felt the sweat on his forehead.

    “No, I don’t, uh, you uh, I mean…”

    “Go home with strangers often?”


    “Not lately”

    The door was finally open as Josh had spoken. He didn’t know what to say but he stepped in and leaned up against the door to let Josh inside. The sound of his empty stomach rumbling seemed to fill the empty apartment and echo. Josh seemed to jump a bit at the sound then gave him a semi type smile, one that seemed to be more out of nervous habit than genuine mirth.

    “Well this is my place”

    “Nice… so just you live here? No boyfriend?”

    There it was, at last. Out in the open but what was he to answer? The door was closed and while he wasn’t exactly a 98 pound weakling, Josh certainly had youth and a better body on him. If it came down to it, he didn’t think he could take him in a fight but he might if pushed. Still the idea of any type of physical contact with Josh excited him despite the growing fear.


    Brett was struggling for time to think and Josh sensed it. He turned and looked directly at Brett, his eyes boring in hard. He flinched a bit as the look took him off guard. He felt the patter of his heart beating and he was certain it was echoing in the empty room.

    “Yeah, boyfriend… I mean you are gay, right?”

    “Uh… well I did have a friend staying, but he’s gone now”

    “Was he your boyfriend or?”

    “Or what? I mean are you gay?”

    “Me? When it suits me, I guess.”

    “Huh? Suits you?”

    “Yeah, uh, let’s have a drink”

    Things were suddenly upside down for him. He had no idea what was going on but as he put the groceries down in the small kitchen, he felt like dinner had somehow got put off. The unease grew in him as he grabbed a couple of glasses and went back into the small living room.

    Josh was sitting on the sofa, waiting for him. He had already removed his jacket and Brett noticed that he had a few of his shirt buttons undone. He could just see the golden tan colour of flesh of Josh’s chest as he handed the glasses over. The bottle of wine was on the small coffee table.

    “So, uh I have a bottle of rum, no soda though or do you want to open the wine now?”

    “Got any ice?”

    “I think so”

    “Okay, splash of rum would be fine”

    Brett went back to the kitchen and grabbed the ice tray out of the freezer. His whole body was on edge and the hard on that had kept him company all the way home was gone. Now he felt a sense of dread taking hold. What had he gotten himself mixed up with, he wondered as he popped a couple of cubes of ice into the two glasses on the

    coffee table. Reaching under he pulled out the half filled bottle of Rum and splashed in two good shots into each glass.

    At first he thought about moving to go sit in the end chair, but as he handed the glass to Josh, their hands touched lightly. He felt the coldness in the flesh which none the less still made his body tingle a bit. He sat down on the sofa, out of habit he supposed as he sipped at the rum, feeling it warm his throat.

    “How’d you know you were gay?”

    “What? I uh, I never said I was gay”

    “You are aren’t you?”

    “Does it matter?”



    Josh stared at him and he watched as the young man took a long drink out of the glass. He coughed a bit as the liquor went down and suddenly Brett begun to wonder if maybe Josh was out to rob him or something worse. He couldn’t get a handle on what Josh was up to, so he kept his distance, though it was hard to do on the small sofa.

    “Cuz, if you aren’t, no sense in wasting that steak on me”

    “I don’t… what is this about?”

    Josh took another drink of rum, nearly finishing it and he stared away to look out the patio window. The curtains were still opened and you could see the street lights shining in now.

    “Long story, guess I shouldn’t have had that toke after work, but well, I need something, okay?”

    “Uh, okay, still I don’t…”

    “I got dumped by my girlfriend…”

    “Your what?”


    “I see, so uh, I don’t get this… if you are straight then…”

    “Why did I pick you up?”

    “Uh, yes”

    “I don’t know, look, Brett, it’s a long story, so maybe I’ll tell you later, right now, well, can we have dinner after we check out the bedroom?”

    His hands shook and he felt the splash of liquid on his wrist as he stared open mouthed at Josh. It was going too fast for him and yet

    the pleading look Josh was giving him was nearly too much to resist. He couldn’t help but feel the hard jump of his cock in his pants. Nothing before had prepared him for this type of situation.

    “I suppose, I mean, but you are straight, so I don’t quite…”

    “You fuck or like to get fucked?”

    “Either.. shit, slow down here. I mean what makes you think that I invited you over to fuck? I mean…”

    “The hard on you had when asking me where the steaks were when obviously you already knew”

    “I didn’t’ uh… okay so I had a stiff one, shit, that doesn’t automatically mean…”

    “Doesn’t it?”

    “No.. no it doesn’t, look man, I don’t know, but this is bit too weird.”

    “Want me to leave?”

    “I don’t know, maybe. Fuck, no, I mean… least tell me what this about.”

    Josh held the glass out to him and Brett reached for the bottle and splashed more run into it. He watched as Josh drank from it and then stood up. For a second Brett was certain that Josh was going to leave but instead he started to unbutton his shirt. His eyes were suddenly transfixed by the appearance of the golden hued chest.

    He felt himself licking his lips as slowly Josh undid each remaining button. Then when they were all undone, he pushed the shirt open, to show off his bare chest.

    The deep wine colour of Josh’s nipples stood out from the perfectly tanned flesh. His eyes grew like saucers as he stared at the ring of wine colour, slowly moving downwards with reluctance. His mouth grew dry as he watched one of Josh’s hands lightly moving down the centre of his naked torso, pulling his eyes with it.

    There was as light tuft of fine blond hairs beginning just under the belly button that travelled downwards, disappearing behind the white band of underwear that showed above the pants. There the hand stopped briefly and Brett could hear the laboured breathing coming from his own aching chest.

    Silently Josh moved his hands to push the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. With a strange glow in his body, Brett forced his eyes upwards once more. He saw the tiny ripple of muscle as he climbed upwards, his eyes feasting on the warm glowing flesh that seemed to suddenly glisten in the room’s lights. He shivered as he could see the tilt of Josh’s head, knowing that his dark green eyes were levelled at him.

    Finally he looked fully upwards. His eyes met once more with Josh’s and his body trembled with desire. He couldn’t explain it but he wanted him, wanted to fuck him or get fucked, it didn’t matter which. He just wanted Josh and he could tell that Josh knew it too. His body shook as he stared deeper into the darkness of those eyes until he heard the soft whisper of Josh’s voice.

    “Go on…”

    “Huh? I mean…”

    “Go on, you want them off as much as I do, so go on, take them off, see if it’s what you want”

    “Look, I don’t, I mean…”

    “Go on, I am not leaving, no tricks, nothing. You want to, I can tell, and I want you to as well”

    “you do?”

    “Wouldn’t be here to begin with, sure as shit wouldn’t be half undressed either if I didn’t”

    It made absolutely no sense but Brett didn’t care. He felt the desire inside. With a shaking body he got off the sofa, leaning down onto his knees before the tall standing grocery boy. His heart was thumping loudly and he was having a hell of a time breathing but with trembling hands, he reached out for the body.

    His fingers touched the pants, near the button and stopped. Licking his lips he looked up one more time to see if Josh had changed his mind, but all he could see was those eyes urging him on. There was no mistaking Josh’s own desire which only fuelled his more. With his mind made up he let his fingers take hold of the pants, and then undo the top button. The sound echoed but was lost in the rolling thunder of his heart.

    With trepidation, he pulled the top open, forcing the zipper down to expose the underwear and crotch. He stared right at the waist, seeing the pale blue of a pair of jockey shorts. As his hands moved his mind was glued to the unfolding scene. The pants made their way down the well built legs. He could see the tiny tufts of blond hair curled around the lower legs but the thighs were a pure milky white.

    Obviously Josh only tanned his upper body which added to the mystery of him. He had figured he’d find nothing but golden tanned skin, instead the contrast only made his heart ache more. Brett could feel the stiffening of his own dick as he watched Josh step out of the pants.

    Again he stared up and knew that Josh wanted him. He couldn’t explain it or even understand why he wanted him, but want him he did. His fingers were numb from fear. He reached out to touch the elastic white waist band and as they brushed against the warm skin, he felt the jolt of electricity pass between them both.

    His eyes were glued to the large bulge sticking out from the thin fabric. The outline of a very hard pole showed clearly that made his buttocks ache with anticipation. His mouth was open as he stared at the hidden treasure and he knew that Josh wasn’t joking, the guy was turned on and really did want him. He couldn’t figure out why, but he didn’t care. He just wanted it.

    Taking control over his shaking limbs, he reached out and grabbed hold of either side of the shorts. His fingers dug inside, the back of them brushing against the skin. He could feel Josh take a deep breath, and he pulled downwards, pushing the shorts down. The glimmer of white from the thighs made his eyes widen as the shorts quickly moved downwards, exposing to his view all of Josh.

    He sucked in air, almost making a whistling sound as the rigid cock plopped out, sticking nearly straight out from Josh’s trembling body. The thick cock was so close he knew that he could just flick his tongue out to taste it, but he held back, enjoying the hard pole’s beauty instead.

    Brett leaned back on his heels, taking in the finely chiselled shape of the pole. He could see the veins sticking out, knowing they were filled with hot rushing blood but he didn’t do anything but stare. His eyes watered a bit as he looked at the tuft of dark blond hair that curled around the rather thick base. He took in the low hanging balls, looking almost perfectly clean of hair but as he squinted a bit, he could see the tiny little strands of hair that seemed all matted and curled inwards.

    The size wasn’t huge or tiny either. To him, they were the perfect size and shape. His mouth was eager to taste them, to stuff them inside but he breathed in deeply instead. Feeling the sweet aroma of sweat and man mingling together filled his lungs and made him groan inside. It was more than he had dreamed of as he took in another deep lungful of Josh’s scent.

    With a growing sense of control, he reached out and ran his hand up the inside of one leg, then stopped. Moving closer to him, he brought his other hand up the other leg while keeping the first one resting lightly just on the inside of the thigh. He could swear he was feeling the wild beat of Josh’s heart from deep within the thigh but it had to be his imagination. His own body was aching now as he rested both hands on the thighs, his fingers pressed lightly inwards, spreading the hot flesh and he heard Josh give a soft groan of pleasure. The pole was now aimed directly at his face, he could smell its sweet aroma now in his nostrils as he licked his lips, wondering if he should take it now or wait, but the pain in his own body made the choice for him.

    With his fingers digging in, pushing the soft inner thighs apart he let his face move closer. His eyes stared at the growing mound of flesh that came to greet him and his lips parted, opening to accept the offered cock. He tilted his head at the last second and flicked his tongue outwards, the edge catching the bottom of the hard bulbous head. The raspy edge flicked across the tender underneath and he felt

    Josh shudder to the touch of his tongue. He shuffled in a bit closer, letting his tongue reach out even more as it moved down the underside of the now shaking cock. He could feel the edge of it brushing up against his own cheek which made him swoon a bit. He moaned as well, as the taste of Josh’s cock began to fill his mouth. The thick vein underneath was bulging as his tongue moved further down the shaft towards the very base of the rock hard pole. His chin brushed the tight balls now, pushing them out of the way as his nose tickled the side of the crotch.

    His hands had moved so that his fingers held tightly around the top part of Josh’s thighs. He could feel the flesh vibrating under his grip but he ignored it, concentrating instead on the sweet aroma that filled his nostrils, with the manly taste that seemed to fill his mouth. It was more than he could stand as he licked eagerly now at the underside of the cock base, tasting the fine hairs as he licked faster, feeling the balls shake and tighten.

    A lancing pain shot down his body from his shoulders but he ignored it for a minute longer. He was too absorbed by the wild sensations running wild inside of his own body as he licked deeper between Josh’s thighs and balls. He could taste and smell his scent growing stronger but the pain finally made him glance upwards.

    Josh had dug his hands into his shoulders, and as he looked up he could see him biting down on his lower lip. His head was tilted up and yet he knew that Josh’s eyes were tightly closed. There was no mistaking the urgency in the boy’s face either as all colour had long since been drained. It was clear that Josh was losing control, and his grip grew tighter.

    As he begun to lower his face to take Josh’s cock into the warmth of his open mouth he saw the head tilt back down. The eyes seemed almost blank but the spark was still there. He felt them focus and the grip grew tighter on his shoulders.

    No… no not that way… please…


    No, please… let me… I have to… there’s some condoms in my pants… please.. please…

    Josh’s hands were white from the pressure they were applying to Brett’s shoulders and the voice was weak, pleading even, but anxious. Brett couldn’t deny him either as the ache in his own body was nearly impossible to contain.

    He moved back a little, his hands frantically finding Josh’s pants until he found the strip of condoms in them. Quickly he tore one open and placed over Josh’s dripping cock. He hadn’t noticed the pre cum before and before he rolled the condom out, he quickly bent forward one more time, licking at the slowly oozing drops, gathering them into his own mouth. Then before Josh could lose it totally, he rolled the thin sheath of plastic down the hot burning flesh of the cock shaft.

    As his finger touched the matted pubic hairs, he felt dizzy and excited in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time, if ever. His body was aching as he quickly stood up. His legs were numb and as the blood begun to circulate through them he felt the pain inside. He let out a small muffled yelp. Moving like when he was a teenager, he didn’t even bother to slip his shirt off. He could see the wild need growing stronger inside of Josh as he undid his pants, dropping them and his underwear.

    Without even flipping them off his legs, Brett turned around and leaned forward, his hands resting on one arm chair he had in the room. He felt Josh moving closer to him and Brett spread his legs apart more, straddling the chair and leaning backwards with his upraised buttocks.

    Before he could even take a deep breath he felt the touch of the hot pole against his cheeks, and as he tried to ready himself the searing pain hit him hard. He felt his whole body suddenly arc forward, as the hard thrust took him by surprise. His body shuddered as the pulsing pole spread his cheeks and entered his body in one hard fast plunge.

    Brett cried out loudly as the pain made him nearly feint. He had never been taken this roughly before. His legs almost buckled from the pain that was roaring inside his ass, and he raised his head, his mouth open as he cried out from the sheer pain that engulfed his body. His hands and arms grew rigid. The fingers dug deep into the unmoving chair arms, almost breaking them or so it felt.

    He heard the animal cry escape from Josh’s lips as the hot breath wafted across his left ear as he took Josh’s whole weight onto his spread out body. He felt the thrusts now, the fullness of each inward thrust making him buck, making his arms flex even. The pain was unbelievable and yet pleasurable to him. He could feel the ache in his own groin and as he took another hard penetrating thrust into his body, he felt his own body begin to react.

    Pulsing lights played across his vision as he felt the hard thrust bury themselves deeper into his body. It was as if the hard pounding cock was trying to reach and touch his tongue, the thrusts were so hard and deep. His breathing was ragged just as Josh’s was. The hot touch of burning droplets of sweat seemed to pop and sizzle on his back, through his shirt even. Every nerve in his body was sending him signals he couldn’t even begin to process.

    The hard pounding into his body seemed never ending. The pain was dull by repetition yet with each hard thrust, he could still feel his body bucking, twisting on the hard pole that got buried deeper into him. The brief respite as it pulled out began to get less and less as Josh’s thrusts grew more intense. His own body was dripping from his own sweat as he struggled to hold on, to weather the storm that had broken over and into him.

    The beat of his heart was like a raging river broken free from some dam or something. Brett could barely focus, think even as the rolling sensations of pain mingled with deep pleasure filled every

    crevice of his insides. He felt them reaching for him, felt them touching him in places he didn’t know existed inside. He could barely hear his own yelps and groans as Josh drove into him faster with each passing second of time. It was too much as his body surrendered to its own needs.

    He felt his balls tighten, felt them dig into the very underside of his cock and as Josh drove his own cock deeper than ever before, Brett couldn’t hold back. With a loud animal cry of utter surrender, of complete abandon to all reason he felt the flow of his milk come shooting out from his wildly dancing cock.

    Splashes of hot man milk went flying all over and splattered against his arms and belly. Even a few stray spurts seemed to find their way upwards, hitting him on his upraised chin. As the second spurt came flooding out, he cried out, yelling that he was coming. The words were out and he could feel Josh moving even faster now. The thrusts were non stop and he had no time to even breathe as they came hard and deep into him.

    Suddenly he felt the body above him grow even more rigid as it pulled back. The hard thundering cock that had split him wide open was just resting at the very tip of his asshole. The head just barely inside his stretched muscle. Before he could finish his thought, before the last shred of penetrating pain had finished he felt the hard pole shudder.

    All of Josh’s body that was touching his began to tremble and without another word, another single cry, Josh pushed inwards. His body, shaking uncontrollably now, crashed down hard onto Brett’s tensed form. The force was more tremendous than any other thrust. He felt his legs begin to buckle as the hard pole dove deep into him. He cried out just as Josh’s own voice suddenly gurgled. The body above him was spent as it drove hard. The weight made his arms shudder then begin to falter. They couldn’t support both spent bodies and as he fell forward he heard the murmuring cries next to his ears, felt the dribble of saliva and sweat on his neck as they fell together, across the open seat of the arm chair.

    The ragged sound of heavy breathing was all he could hear. His heart was still pounding in his ears but not so loudly. The rasping gasps for air came from both of them as they were still coupled though laying on the seat of the chair. His head was tilted to one side, pushed hard into the inner side of the chair. His legs were stretched outwards, but without feeling of any kind. Nothing seemed to register beyond that as he struggled for air. He had never been taken this way before yet even as that thought came to him, he began to wonder what next time might be like.

    He shivered a little as he felt the warm heavy breathing on his neck. Josh was totally exhausted but he still was semi hard, still inside of Brett. The pain was long gone, only the pleasure remained. As his breathing grew more regular, the sound of Josh’s cock finally coming free of the tight clench of Brett’s sphincter echoed in the room. Brett

    felt totally drained yet wondered if he could persuade Josh to spend the night.

    After all, Josh was working nights and he had tomorrow off. Maybe a bit later, after some food he might be able to return the favour that Josh had just done for him. With that thought growing in his mind, Brett slowly twisted his body around, so that Josh was resting on his chest, facing him. The smile across Josh’s face was enough for Brett to know that there would be desert after dinner.



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  • Same Sex Domestic Violence - the Truth Behind Closed Doors

    Living in a bubble of a stable, happy lesbian relationship, I found it hard to believe that Same-Sex Domestic Violence (SSDV) existed between lesbian couples. After all, as both partners in the relationship are female I foolishly imagined that this would eradicate domestic violence altogether. I thought that two females should be able to live in perfect harmony. Therefore, you can imagine my utter amazement when I started to stumble across facts that 25% of same-sex relationships suffer from domestic abuse; that's the same percentage as heterosexual couples. 

    Perhaps I owed my naivety to the fact that the whole lesbian and gay community shrouds itself in the myth that because we have same sex partners we do not have abusive relationships. I only have to look at the online accounts of real women who have experienced physical, or verbal, abuse to know that this is untrue. I think it's about time that we admit that SSDV does exist, if only to help those that are suffering. 

    SSDV - Removing the Blindfold 

    I think I was also blindfolded into imagining that domestic violence only took the form of physical or sexual abuse. Now I know, after researching the subject more thoroughly, that there are several forms of domestic abuse that need to be taken into consideration. Many, if not all of them, have one goal and that is that your partner, the abuser, wants to maintain control over you. I have summarized the main forms of SSDV below. Please read them carefully, especially if you believe that you may be a victim of SSDV but aren't sure that the way that your partner is acting, or treating you, is a form of domestic abuse.

    • Physical abuse - where your partner physically hurts you. This could be kicking, punching, slapping, etc.
    • Sexual abuse - where your partner forces you to have sex or take part in sexual acts with other people that you would not normally consent to.
    • Emotional abuse - where your partner makes you feel afraid or continually puts you down with words. It may seem as though she is constantly trying to humiliate you.
    • Social abuse - where your partner limits your contact with friends, family, and even any social groups. This can leave you with a complete feeling of isolation.
    • Financial abuse - where your partner controls all of your finances against your will.
    • Stalking / Harassment - where your partner / ex partner follows you, or harasses you, and won't leave you alone.

    Is It Happening To You?

    If you can relate to any of the forms of domestic abuse stated above then you are a victim of Same Sex Domestic Violence. Even if you have only been hit once, or your partner has only subjected you to emotional abuse once, you should still proceed with caution. Domestic abuse has a cyclical nature and once the abuser has lashed out, they will become a model partner for a while, but then something will trigger their behavior, tensions will rise and SSDV will take place again. I know that it's hard to make the recognition that your partner is an abuser; you have put all of your love and trust into this person and it's difficult to break away from that. It's easier to think that it will be fine and things will get better - but, in reality they probably won't. The sooner you make this realization the closer you are to getting help. 

    What Can You Do?

    I can imagine that being the victim of SSDV - Same Sex Domestic Violence - can be very isolating, particularly if your partner has encouraged you to cut off ties with close friends, or you don't know any other lesbian, or gay people, that you can turn to for advice. The first thing to realize is that there are people out there willing to help you: 

    1. The police - many forms of domestic abuse are illegal and if your partner is being violent, or sexually abusive, then involve the police. At the end of the day it's only what she deserves. Don't be afraid that the police will be homophobic, or laugh in your face, as they should be trained to treat SSDV in the same way as heterosexual domestic violence. Some police forces have Gay and Lesbian liaison groups, with specifically trained personnel to guide you through such issues. 
    2. Lesbian domestic abuse help lines - even though they may be few (and far between) at present, help lines specifically for lesbian victims of domestic abuse do exist. They will be able to talk you through your options and help you to determine a course of action. Many of the staff at standard domestic abuse help lines have been trained how to deal with lesbian couples, so don't think that you have to search for an exclusively lesbian line. Choose whatever you feel comfortable with. 
    3. Domestic abuse shelters - If you really need to get out quickly then domestic abuse shelters will be able to help you, too. Choose one that is sensitive to LGBT (Lesbian; Gay; Bisexual; Transgender) issues and you will be on the right road to ridding yourself of a violent and volatile relationship. 

    Don't blame yourself for things that have taken place. Don't belittle yourself any more than she has done already. Just remember that it's not your fault and that there are groups, associations, and people out there that will be willing and able to help. I suggest you pick up the phone right now.

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