Welcome
Login / Register

Getting out of Same-Sex Domestic Violence Situations

Domestic violence is one of those things that are rarely talked about in open circles. Everyone knows that these kinds of things are happening because the signs are clear. From the bruising - to watching people that were your friends shy away from you as they descend into another place of loathing and little to no self worth - abuse is something that is hard for anyone to deal with. Unfortunately, it is worse when you do not know (or do not want to admit) that it is happening to you. 

Here (below) are a few questions for you to consider. However, when you ask yourself these questions make sure that you look at your relationship honestly. Do not attempt to make excuses for your lover, because if you do you will not be able to get help. Analyze and answer these questions as you would if you were looking at your best friend's relationship. 

· Do you fear your partner? 
· Are you especially squeamish or nervous at the thought of your partner when he/she is angry? 
· Has your partner ever physically attacked you in any way? 
· Do you make excuses for the bruises he/she has given you? 
· Does your partner make you feel 'less than', stupid, shameful, or inept? 
· Does your partner ridicule you, fail to validate you, or make you feel like you are 'imagining' any wrongdoing on his/her part? 

There are many other ways to make you see that you are being abused. However, if you answered yes to any of these then you should seriously consider seeking help. It's not easy coming to the realization that the person that you love is out to hurt you. In some cases he/she may not even realize they are doing it. Many people that were abused as children grow up to repeat the cycle against people they love. Additionally, most extremely insecure people - people who have an intense feeling of inadequacy and an unnatural fear of abandonment - subconsciously abuse their partners as a way of 'controlling' them. Translation: ensuring that their partner does not desert or leave them. Whatever the reason for the abuse, to you it should not matter. Why he/she does it should not be as important as the fact that they do. If you feel like you are in danger then you need to get out. 

Once upon a time there were no options for a homosexual male or female in a domestic violence situation. He/She had to count on family, friends, or their own financial resources. Otherwise they had to deal with homelessness, or abuse. Today, while there are still an alarming few options, there are more than ever before. There are numerous non-profit organizations which are adopting anti-violence funds to help GLBT men and women in situations of domestic violence. Not only will they be able to help you get out of the situation you are in, but they will be there to lend a helping hand by seeing you through your trying life reformation. Organizations such as Lambda, RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network), and SAFE (Stop Abuse for Everyone) are scattered around the nation and willing to lend a non-biased hand in helping someone in need. 

No matter who is going to help you the most important thing you need to realize is that you need to help yourself as well. You need to make the commitment to leave your lover because you deserve better. Unfortunately, there are men/women that escape these problems and go back - only to end up paying for their mistake with their life. You do not want this to happen to you! So once you realize you are being abused you need to understand you are worth more, get help, and get out as fast as you can. 

If you are afraid of your partner - and do not know where to turn - consider some of the following resources. Go to these websites, and when you are ready to ask for help you will have a good idea of where you can go. Remember, ultimately youare the one person that is going to be able to save your life. No man or woman is worth dying for, or losing your entire self-worth over.

Post your   c o m m e n t

Comments may be moderated. If you don't see your comment, please be patient. It may be posted soon. Do not post your comment a second time.
Thank you.

Comments

Be the first to comment

Related Articles

RSS